Clenchalongs

If it's a pun, it works

I have hundreds of songs which are puns on pelvic floors, I’ll schedule them as #Clenchalong posts to remind you to #DoYourPelvicFloorExercises. There’s no science behind “once clench per beat”, but it can be helpful to see if you can do it, it can be helpful for some people to figure out how to quick clenches.

As we go along I’ll tell you about why these muscles matter and how they impact on your quality of life. Basic information will be here for free and more in-depth information will be for paid subscribers

Let’s start with a bit of Wilson Phillips, easy listening for easy clenching.

To do a pelvic floor contraction - think about what you do when you are trying really hard to hold in a fart - you squeeze and lift your bum-hole, that action is your pelvic floor working.

It’s easier to get the muscles to contract if they are working with, not against, your diaphragm, so, take a deep breath in, sigh out and then squeeze and lift your bumhole.

Hold that for a count of 10, keep breathing.

relax

Now, 10 hard, fast squeezes and relax between each one.

Do those two exercises 3 times a day until you are dry and then once a day, every day until you die.

If you get pain, aren’t sure what you are doing, or if the exercises don’t work then see your GP or local friendly fanny physio.

Or, just try to do a squeeze-and-lift one clench a beat to Wilson.