Get A Grip: my feminist fanny fundraiser

time to crack on

I am told this is called a “soft launch”, where I leak details about my project.

If you’d like to take the course when it’s live, use the subscribe button - I’ll send you the link when it’s ready.

I’ve written a fundraising pelvic floor course, “Get A Grip” and am editing videos with the aim of publishing on 24 September. If you’d like to be an early backer and help me get there, you can chip in by pressing the button above which takes you to ko-fi. Every pound donated will go to pay for the baffling-but-essential stuff (tech + admin) I need to build the project…read on and I’ll explain:

I think about women’s health most of the time, and it has left me scunnered - a Scots word for “between frustrated and furious”. I have spent twenty years trying to persuade my professional bodies, politicians, and budget holders to take women’s health needs seriously - and I have failed. We have no vehicle to educate women about what we can reasonably expect from our genitals over the course of our lifetime. Women’s health is underfunded, under-researched, and we are left under-diagnosed and under-managed.

I’m a Fellow of the Chartered Society of Physiotherapy, a pelvic health physio, and recovered incontinent - which probably explains my fanny fixation. I won an international comedy award for my show about pelvic floors, Gusset Grippers. I’ve spoken at international health conferences, presented in Holyrood, Westminster and the House of Lords. I’ve been on TV, radio, newspapers, and magazines - and was on track to secure funding to run a public health campaign… until I made myself unpopular for refusing to lie about sex, fudge language, ignore evidence, or deny that women have rights to dignity and privacy. Oops.

The stats are stark: one in three women wet themselves. Half of women over 50 have vaginal prolapse. Incontinence, constipation, pelvic pain, and sexual dysfunction cost the NHS billions every year in pads, prescriptions, surgeries, and admissions. And yet, if there has been any public health education on pelvic health, I’ve missed it. We’ve known for forty years that pelvic floor exercises are effective, cheap to teach, free to do, and the only known side effect is probably an improved orgasm. I really can’t understand why this has been a hard sell.

So why isn’t it happening? It seems nobody wants to champion leaky, sore, worried women or fund pelvic health. I’ve petitioned, pleaded, rallied - and once, I noisily didn’t flash the Scottish Parliament. I’ve been consistent, insistent, persistent… and ignored.

I’ve said before that men’s anger is destructive but angry women build things - refuges, charities and resources support other women. So, looks like now I’m sufficiently scunnered to realise it’s my turn.

The UK has about 11.5 million women with pelvic floor issues. I’m good at my job, but I’ve only got two hands (and to be honest, I’m a bit clumsy with my left one) so if I’m going to address the leaky ladies, vexatious vaginas, and fallen fannies, then I’ll need to find some help.

Women with pelvic floor issues don’t tend to come to physio; they go to Pilates, yoga and gyms. There are about 60,000 professionals who instruct exercise and fitness and most of their clients are women. If I can teach fitness and exercise professionals the basics of how to work with women safely, then they won’t design well-meaning programmes which have prolapse built in, or be left wondering why we didn’t go back to their class.

I can do the content with my eyes shut, but I need funding to outsource tech, business, digital, and PR skills. So I’m launching a fundraiser: a pelvic floor course for women - Get A Grip.

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What’s in the frank, funny, factual, feminist Get A Grip course?

• The stuff you should have already been told: evidence based information about bladders, bowels, pelvic floors, prolapse, sexual function, pregnancy, birth injury, menopause - what you need to know about your nethers from potty to grave.

• Evidence-based: no snake oil, no flannel, no myths.

• Self-management tools: bladder, bowel, pain and exercise diaries; reminders, prompts, and fanny origami.

• Practical tools: how to ask for help without dying of embarrassment at the GP; laundry tips; links to trusted resources; and a #clenchalong playlist.

• Stigmas smashed: shame-free, frank, funny, and factual.

It’s comprehensive, video based self directed learning with downloadable resources and links to useful organisations. By the end you’ll understand basic pelvic floor anatomy, know what is normal, recognise symptoms which are not, manage many conditions yourself, and advocate for yourself so you can access more help if you need it.

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Pay what you can

This isn’t crowdfunding - there are no gold tiers, no tote bags, no incentives for bigger donations. Everyone gets the same information.

The commercial value of the course is £200, but my format is pay what you can, or what you think it’s worth. If you can’t afford to pay anything, then have it for free; I don’t think that women’s health information should be hidden behind a paywall.

If you choose to pay, you’re not just buying a course - you’re funding a grassroots public-health pelvic floor campaign. We know this sort of education can save the NHS billions and improve women’s lives. Bargain.

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Who do we need to Get A Grip?

Who decided women’s health deserved just 2.4% of public health research funding in the UK?

Get A Grip isn’t just about you; it’s about healthcare recognising that women have sex based health needs.

So, this fundraiser comes with a draft letter you can send to your elected representatives and social media content to share.

If the world is watching “Terf Island,” then they’ll see women improve their own health - and an infrastructure which failed to meet our sex based needs. Hopefully they’ll want to join in because sorting the patriarchy is a lot easier when you don’t wet yourself a bit when you shout.

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The first videos are nearly finished - early backers will be the first to get access

Get A Grip launches 24 September - just in time for #DryByChristmas, my free annual campaign reminding you to #DoYourPelvicFloorExercises three times a day for three months, and sort your pelvic floor before Santa comes.

So, sign up on Substack, share this project and let’s change the world, one fanny at a time - starting with yours.

Yours in strength and sisterhood,
Elaine